still doing nothing

[gzarnke]

It has been along time since I was here, just did not want to depress anyone.  Well most of the time everything is ok, as long as I just don't think  about it.  My son is still in Pain some days worse then others and he still has problems with going out.  He has tried bags and such for longer periods but says he gets cramps and then  the bag will leak or some such problem will happen, so he just does not do anything unless he has to.

My son it able to laugh now and enjoy his time at home with movies, reading and playing computer games.  He is the most stuborn person I know and he just will not give too much a try as he says it is just too much work and not enough pay back for all his trouble.  He just does not have any interest in meeting new people and says there is nothing he can really do that he wants to any more so what is the big deal.

He just wants to fade away as he puts it and then again he says he feels guilty for not having a job and moving out of his parents house!!!

As some of you know my son is a incomplete T9 & T10 it seems as if that is the worse place to have an spinal cord injury as so much is taken away that will not come back.

I hear all the time on the boards how eveyone has pain and still they do so much with their lifes, my son just does not want to try.

So we have fun playing cards and watching movies together or play computer games , we really do have a blast sometimes .

AS Garry told me once just give him his own time, it will be 5 years this summer since his accident I jsut hope that is the yeaar he will start to do more.

All the best to everyone, you have all helped me so much.

[cate]

Hi Gzarnke.  I have not been on for a very long time.  I did wonder how you and your son were doing.  Sorry to hear that h e is still shutting the world out.   You say he is stubborn. you need for him to use that on things that he can do.  This must be a real hard work on you and your husband.  Do you think maybe he he is to reliant on you.  Harsh words I know. Sorry I cannot offer you anything constructive. 

[Gary Anderson]

hi Gzarnke

Glad to hear from you again. Do not worry about your son, I am 20 odd years since my accident and my Mum says still as stubborn as ever I was! Honestly, I know it sounds terrible but you have actually tried all you can do. If you son appears happy then that is all you can ask. Perhaps if someone was to offer him a job it may help. I remember Cattucci who used to post here - her son was in a similar situation to your son and he was given a job by his previous empoloyers. So far as I know, he is still working. Is there not something he could do from home? Like web design or some study course.

At the end of the day, you cannot live a life for someone. My own family have watched me struggle for 20 years and yes, I admit, there are those on here whose lives appear to be upbeat, however, I am afraid I did not fall into that category. I mourned then and I still do mourn for the loss of my family life, careet, etc. Nothing I do today can equal what I was doing back then. However, as long as I  can get through the days that is all that matters. I do not go any further foward.

You are doing a fine job of supporting your son and if he wants an ear to bend then please, you can email me or PM me on the forum.

Love
Gary x