Shes been paralyzed for a year and half? Will soemone tell me how shes thinking

[XHopeBrookesX]

Hi All!
My name is Hope Brookes I am 21 and I live in Manchester in England and I am here because my bestfrend who I have been friends with since I was a child has been a T8 for about a year and  a half now, she  was in hospital for almost a year and had 3 months of bed rest and now shes starting to go out a bit.

That's the good news. but the bad news is she doesn't talk to me. And when I say that I mean hardly at all. she will say little things here or there that scare me like " you hate the site of me" & " and don't look at me I'm disgusting" why would she say that? I have never made her think that i think those things because I don't shes my bestfriend and she will always be the girl i met when we were children and shes beautiful. Please someone tell me what shes thinking like maybe if your paralyzed and young youwould maybe know what shes going through? because to her it seemes no one does? I thought of contacting support groups in the UK  that we could go to but I don't know any maybe any of you know support groups in the UK or maybe places she could go to socialize with people who know how shes feeling because right now I feel so helpless. It seemes like all the friends we thought we had have just disappeared as soon as she became paralyzed its just me left now and I don't know what to do, I have told her I Will never leave her but she doesn't believe me. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt towards what happened because she fell of her roof at her house when I told her not to get on the roof because I felt like something bad will happen but she did it anyway after i left to go home, maybe that's why she wont talk to me, because she hates me for not doing something else to make her not go on the roof or maybe she wishes it was me who went on the roof? I have no idea i need help because this whole situations breaking my heart.

I know that all seemed like a long ramble bable so I will specify in points.

1. Is anyone young paralyzed and living in the UK who would know of support groups for the person injured and friends and family..

2: someone who is injured and young who could possibly let me know how shes thinking?
 
[or just anyone who could help?]

Thank you so much because I don't know what else to so


Contact me if you want: hopexlovesxall@hotmail.co.uk


      [Hope Brookes] Thank Youu!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jilly]

Hi Hope,
Well, Im not young or injured or live in the UK! Lol! But maybe I can help a bit.

She is saying those things about herself that scare you because thats how she sees herself! The poor thing! Shes seeing herself as disgusting and useless and her self confidence has completely GONE! she has to do these unspeakable yuckky things to herself now like manage incontinence! Shes feeling like her life as she knew it has gone. Shes thinking... why on earth would you want to be friends with her still now that shes like this! It sounds to me like shes in the depths of depression. It takes a long time to get over an injury like she has. Shes possibly feeling jealous of you because you are still 'normal'!

What you have to do Hope is get rid of any guilty feelings about her accident. Its NOT YOUR FAULT! It was an ACCIDENT! There was NOTHING YOU COULD DO to stop it ok! You had gone home. You werent even there!

Now all of us here know that she ISNT disgusting or useless! Of course she isnt. She is just like you said, a beautiful young lady, the same friend that you have known for years. She is also scared out of her wits.

With a T8 injury she is going to be able to be independent, go shopping, drive, party, dance, go out with guys, get a job, get married and have children eventually! She will be able to do just about all the things that every other young lady does. But she doesnt think so yet. It takes a lot of time but one day she WILL think so one day and in the meantime she needs YOU. She has to learn how to do everything again and thats hard and its scary!

Its going to be hard Hope, for both of you. But stick by her. Ignore those negative comments as much as you can and keep being positive. Dont take it personally, she doesnt hate you ok! Be strong!

Get her here on the forum if you can, talking about it to others like herself will help a lot. And feel free to ask any questions you have no matter how silly they might seem. We dont mind.

[XHopeBrookesX]

wow jilllyy!
thank you so much! thats so kind of u i reali apreciate everythin you have said you have given me somthing tht i couldnt get and thts a greater understanding of wots in hermind and i know she doesnt feel liek this on purpose so its understandable tht shes jeluse i will try my harddest to not feel guilty coz u were right theres nuthin i cud have done thnz soooo muchhh

ur amazin!

hehe

thank youu

hope brookes x