What to expect?

[Amy]

Hi Everyone...hope you have a peaceful day...I posted my introduction, and now I'd love to have someone to talk with. I have an incomplete cord injury at T6. It's only been about 4 months and I'm a little lost.  I don't know what to expect, don't know what they mean about "bowel or bladder changes" and most of all am having a really tough time trying to get my 15 year old son to understand what I'm going through.  That's killing me, because I look just fine, except when I walk! he just doesn't get it...how can I help him?  Thanks so much.

[Jilly]

Ahhh.... teenagers! Arent they wonderful. ()

Your son doesnt get whats going on does he. At 15 he is still in that awful place between a child and adult and is so wrapped up in himself that he just cant see past his own nose! Lol! He knows that you have hurt your back and thats probably where it ends. After all you look ok dont you! You are still doing stuff arent you! So whats the problem! ..... yeah... whatever....

I have teenagers but mine are girls. They dont like their parents to change. They like us to run around after them and keep doing the things we have always done from them. I sometimes look at mine and wonder where in hell my lovely child went to... and who is this monster?! Lol!

I think the only thing you can do is to sit him down and tell him exactly whats happened. You need to let him know that you are scared and confused and are going through hell right now. You need his help and support to get through this. Maybe he is scared and confused too but doesnt want to let on. Maybe he just doesnt realise just how seriously you have been hurt. Sit and talk with him. You never know, it might work.

By the way, if a walking cane would help you get around, then use one. Its better than risking a fall and hurting yourself even more.

[Amy]

Thanks again Jilly.  I spoke with my son today after school.  It's been just the two of us since he was about 2years old.  He told me that when I was in the hospital he was so scared he didn't know what to do or who to talk to...thank goodness my friends jumped in and grabbed a hold of him.  He said that after I got home, the brace freaked him out, but once the brace came off, he thought I was ok...mostly.  I explained to him that right now, we don't know what the outcome would be, but that I was going to use my cane and asked that he not make fun of me.  He asked if I was going to end up in a wheelchair.  I said I wasn't sure right now, but even if I did, it wouldn't change who I am or the fact that I would always be there for him, besides, it would give me a reason to re-configure  my kitchen!!  I insisted that he help me more around the house by doing simple things like PICKING UP AFTER HIMSELF!!!!!   He asked if I would ever be a cop again, because he said he was proud of me for the accomplishments I experienced as a cop and he knew that I really liked what I did.  I told him that I would love to be able to return to the department, but right now, it doesn't look promising.

so........he said he'd help out more and I promised that we would get through this together, like we have gotten through everything else. 

I have decided to use my cane because it does help, but only when I really feel like I need it.  I don't want to rely on it and am working hard in physical therapy to keep my muscles strong...my right leg has atrophied an inch since the fall, so that concerns me a bit....it seems like I'm more messed up on my right side, don't know why!

[Amy]

OH JILLY!!!  I just viewed your artwork....you are SO gifted....absolutely beautiful.  Just wanted to let you know!

Amy

[Jilly]

Thanks Amy, I forgot I had that link on here! Lol! I must put a few more photos of recent paintings on my site.

My artwork is only part time at the moment, people arent spending money on art very much with the world economy like it is but Im exhibiting in a competition in a month so hopefully....
Im a caregiver too and work night shift in an old folks home. Gotta go to work soon... (groan!)

Im so glad you talked with your son. I bet it cleared the air for you both a lot. Teens tend to hold a lot of worries inside, I know mine do. He sounds like a neat kid. Keep it all open and honest and Im sure you will both be fine. 

[Amy]

Jilly,

You sound like an absolutely awesome person.  I know what it's like to be a caregiver as my son has a chronic lung disease and I took care of my dad until he passed away....it's not easy, and I admire your ability to handle it.  I also know what working night shift is like!!!  Tough to do when the rest of the world sleeps when it's dark and works when the sunshines!!! Plus teenagers, being a caregiver and trying to have your own life...it can be a challenge.  I'm sure those in your life appreciate all you do.    I have done pencil, charcoal and watercolor, but nothing that I would really care to share with anyone    I'm working on it though.  Like I've said before, this injury is giving me an opportunity to do some things I just hadn't found time to do before, so rather than sit around and stress about it, I'm starting to do things I've always wanted to, but put off....I'm starting a watercolor class in two weeks....I think the instructor has her work cut out for her .  Good luck with the exhibit....let me know how it goes and how is it that someone can commission you or purchase one of your pieces???  I know a woman who owns a museum and I think she might be very interested to add you to her collection. 

Go to sleep now...it must be about that time!!!!
Amy

[cate]

Hi Amy, I agree with all that Jilly said, ad yes she is very gifted. 
If you browse around the site you will find more info.   my daughter is c5-6 incomplete  and she uses one crutch she find that better than a stick, I use a stick for my arthitis if anything helps use it,, with regard to  your right side being more effected, my daughter has this problem, she has Brown Sequards Syndrome, which I think is what causes it, and also a balance is not to good,
Good to hear that you had a talk with your son, and it seems to have helped, always best to try and bring things to the foregront.  best of luck.
 

[Amy]

Thanks Cate!  I'm having another MRI on my thoracic spine this Friday, so hopefully I'll know a bit more after that.  I have been using my cane, and it really does help.  I thought that maybe all of this was "in my head", so today I pretended that it was the day before my accident, thinking that I would be able to function like I use to....ah, no...pretending doesn't work!!!  There is definately something wrong, well not wrong, but different about me.  I really appreciate the conversations here, even if I have nothing really to add.  Reading through them helps me a lot.  Best wishes to your daughter....how long has it been and is there hope of improvement for her? 

Amy

[cate]

Hy Amy  good to hear from you. My daughters two accidents were  about 18 years for the knee which went very wrong, and her c5/6 is about 12 years. ago.  No  further improvement,  but she is not in a wheel chair, which is good, as told if they had not discovered the spinal injury she would have been in the next 12 months, so they operated very quickly ,   Once the problem was discovered,
However she leads a full life. I cannot say what her  pain is like, as she rarely discusses it, but all the trauma has left her with lymphodema which is very difficult for her, it is in the leg, and with BSS.
She has just started up her own business and is also studying,
So I hope things continue to improve for you and also that your son can appreciate how things are for yhou.
Hope you  have a happy Christmas and that the new year will bring some good luck

[Amy]

Hi Cate,

It seems like your daughter has been through quite a lot, but sounds like she's a very strong person.  No doubt it helps so much to have people in your life who love you enough to help you through it.  A couple of my friends (well, we're much more like a family!)  have sat my son down and talked with him..as did I and he's really starting to come around   I hope you and your daughter have a great Christmas and an outstanding new year!!!

Merry Christmas,

Amy

[cate]

Thanks Amy, I also hope you and your son
 also have a good time at Christmas.
Yes my daughter is very strong person, and I think now has adjusted that this life for her,
Happy Chr5istmas to everyone else on the forum.